"Meh"drid - the Royal Palace and other Disappointments


My last day in Madrid was a mixed bag. I woke up later than usual, thanks to inconsiderate dorm mates leaving their reading lights on all night long. I skipped breakfast and still only got to the Palacio Real by 10:45. There was a line – it took about 15 minutes, but wasn't too bad, thanks to the guy playing accordion tunes according the the nationality of people in line. Think 'Cielito Lindo' for the Mexicans, 'The Godfather' for the Italians, etc. Most laughed and tipped him. (This was not the only place in Madrid I'd encountered this sort of stereotyping from street musicians, which is kinda funny at first glance but becomes less so when fellow travelers and friends share stories of racist encounters they experienced in Spain.)


The Palacio Real is the official residence of the Spanish Royal Family, but is only used for state occasions these days. It's the largest Royal Palace in Europe by floor area. (From what you see on the tour, it doesn't seem like it - after Versailles, it’s hard to be impressed.) The Royal Palace houses the world’s only complete Stradivarius string quintet, as well as art by Tiepolo, Caravaggio, Goya and Velazquez. It was built on the site of a 9th century Alcazar, but the current building was constructed following a fire in 1734. You enter the palace from the large Plaza de la Armeria, which probably used to be more spectacular than annoying when filled with processing horses, soldiers, and royalty instead of tourist seeking shade.


Which leads me to the reasons I really wasn't impressed by the Palacio Real:

1. Insane crowds – I found myself racing from one room to the next to outrun the massive tour groups.
2. No photos allowed – I can understand why 1 leads to 2, but it always knocks a few points off in my book.
3. Poor signage – a recurring theme in Spain, but especially embarrassing here.


The rooms were pretty (especially the throne room and grand staircase), but didn’t stand out after all the other grand homes and palaces I’d visited in the past two weeks, plus were harder to appreciate when attempting to stay carefully in between tour group mobs. Wikipedia told me there were three more points of interest to visit – the armory, the pharmacy, and the library. After asking several guards who seemed to have no idea where things were, even as I was showing them the places on my phone, I finally found a helpful guard – she was able to point me to the armory. So far as I could understand, the other two things weren’t part of the tour when I visited.



My abbreviated tour of the palace did give me time for a brief visit to Almudena Cathedral before my lunch reservation at 1:00. The cathedral was cool – all modern stained glass and décor in a typically (Neo-)Gothic building. I didn’t have time to visit the crypt, which looks really neat.



(Oh, also - my sunglasses disappeared at the hostel, so I had to buy a new pair, after squinting all morning. The Plaza de Armeria was bright!)

My lunch reservation was for Sobrino de Botín – the world’s oldest continuously operating restaurant. Botín was founded in 1725 by a Frenchman and is famous for its Cochinillo Asado, or roast suckling pig. The flame used to roast the pigs is kept burning in oven continuously. Goya supposedly worked there and Hemingway dined there, including it in the last few pages of ‘The Sun Also Rises’.




I walked over and arrived around 1:00. I was seated at a table on the second (primera) floor. The narrow staircases and rabbit warren of dining rooms are admittedly enchanting. The waiter's brusque manner was purely Spanish service industry. I ordered the seasonal menu – gazpacho, cochinillo asado, ice cream, wine and bread included.



My waiter forgot my water. I was in a bit of a 'go with the flow' mood after my harried Royal Palace visit and waited to see if he would remember. Instead, I found my water glass missing after a trip to the restroom. :/ More wine for me! I liked the experience of eating at Botín, but strangely, I think cochinillo asado is just not for me. I used to love pork, but do so less as I get older. Especially when it's salty and I'm dehydrated.



I was feeling almost nauseously full after lunch, but forced myself to Metro to the archaeology museum, one stop away from the hostel. In the museum, I took five minutes in the bathroom just to get myself together (for once, this is not a euphemism for gastric distress – more like washing my face and mopping myself with paper towels), then sat for a while in the lobby.

Also, time for a selfie with my new sunglasses.

Following my museum visit, I took a taxi back to Safestay Hostel. I got my stuff together and checked out, taking another taxi to Hostal Jerez, on a busy corner of Gran Via. I’d booked it at 2:00am the night before, when it became apparent the lights in my dorm room were staying on all night. There were guys selling fake purses and jerseys right outside the door of my new hotel. The lobby was on the 6th floor and the elevator could only hold two – while I was waiting, two girls butted in front of me. One looked apologetic, the other didn’t care. I checked into my room – it was super basic, a little dark and dingy and overlooking an airshaft. (Quiet, yay!) On the plus side, it had a small tv and was perfectly adequate for 50€.

It was late afternoon, and I still had a couple more things I wanted to see – the first on the list was the church of San Antonio de la Florida, way up in the NW corner of central Madrid. I metroed to Principe Pio, arriving around 6:00PM. The church closed at 7:00. It was an agonizing walk, first through a mall, then backtracking as the mall had no northern exit, then onward toward the church. I got there at 25 till. There were two small, matching buildings. A service was going on in one. The other held what I was there for – the Goya frescos.



It was the highlight of my day, and as I mentioned earlier, now my favorite work by Goya. I’m really glad I made the effort to visit, as it really lifted an otherwise bleh end to a great trip.

Finally, I was headed for the Templo de Debod, one of the three small temples Egypt donated to other countries as thanks for the help they offered in conserving treasures while the Aswan Dam was built. The grandest is probably the Temple of Dendur at the Met in NYC, but this one runs a close second and is situated outside. The temple and its reflecting pool in Parque Oeste is supposed to be a nice place to enjoy the sunset.

The closest way to get to Parque Oeste looked to be on a walking path across some railroad tracks, so I followed Google Maps. Bad idea. The neighborhood got super sketch really quickly. I booked it past what looked like a public service drug rehab center (like the one I used to try to avoid on my walks to work in the Bronx) – one dude was peeing on a tree, in broad daylight. After making it safely out of the sketchy blocks, I reached Parque Oeste. It was up another giant hill.



And then, after hiking, huffing, to the top... OFC, the Templo de Debod was closed, its pool drained. It was hot and far from sunset. I needed a bathroom, badly. (I’d been counting on the ones in the Debod visitor’s center, which was closed.) I walked back down to a Starbucks near Plaza España, where I bought a San Pellegrino in order to get the bathroom code, which ended up being a bit of a blessing in disguise.

Returning to Gran Via, I visited an ATM and bought some knock-off jerseys from the enterprising young men with their parachute blankets. I returned to my hotel with the intent of going out during the second half of NGA-ARG for one last vermut de grifo, but was so sweaty and gross, I decided to watch in my room, shower, and sleep. I prepped everything for the morning and set my alarm for 7:00AM.

So while my last day in Madrid was far from the best day of the trip, I think that's a bit natural. Realizing that your trip is ending, facing the prospect of returning to everyday life, trying to squeeze in every last thing you want to do... I'm struggling to remember having a great last day on any of the trips I've taken in recent years. However, this trip did have one final golden lining... checking out the following morning, I realized the hotel lobby had a great view of the back of the Metropolitan Building at eye-level – a picture I hadn’t yet captured. It was a nice, gleaming end to my first trip to Spain.

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